Coffee and A.D.D. equals a nice diagnosis of a rambling blog post, but coffee helps me to ramble less. Go figure. Obviously, today, the coffee isn’t working. Ha ha ha.
I am super excited this morning and am trying to squeeze out a post before the Super Bowl. The toddler is going down for a nap too, so it’s perfect timing. And I swear this whole parenting business is all about timing!
MY 1-MINUTE VIDEOS AREN’T GOING TO MAKE ME FAMOUS
So, if you visit this blog, but don’t feel like watching the videos, that’s fine. I don’t blame you. I’m not much of a YouTube watcher, myself. Speaking of YouTube, I’m not expecting to become a YouTube superstar, either. And the only time I’ll ever cry on camera is if I absolutely have to. (Though I am pretty good at crying on cue.) In other words, I’m not trying to make myself a spectacle.
Case in point: Every PERV with a breast milk fetish out there is hoping to see my breasts, while I manually pump my milk. I didn’t actually manually pump on camera, so I got a few thumbs down. Perhaps, the title offended some moms (Manually Pumping Your Breast Milk: It’s Like Milking A Cow). Um….it is like milking a cow! And so now YouTube has placed that rated G video in with “similar” videos. Fetish videos like “husband begs for wife to squirt breast milk in his mouth.”
Gross. Weird. Yuck. Gosh, who the heck knows what will trend on YouTube anymore?
PARDON MY A.D.D…BUT I’M SURE EVERYONE HAS THAT DIAGNOSIS
I mainly think 1-minute videos are simple to post on Instagram, plus they are easily digestible for the typical adult with A.D.D. I’m convinced of two things: A.) We all have Attention Deficit Disorder because B.) Attention Deficit Disorder isn’t a real thing. I’m also convinced that, perhaps C.) Maybe there’s no such thing as a diagnosis and that it’s all made up. But then again, the fact that I’ve suffered from depression my whole life is pretty much undeniable.
So, I guess that particular diagnosis is real. Did I mention that I am an adult with an official A.D.D. diagnosis? Yep, got that, too. And, I’m pretty sure I’m O.C.D.
EATING BABY FOOD MAKES YOU LOSE WEIGHT!
Oh well…you see, I went off on a tangent. Now, back to my butt losing weight. I went on the scale today and I am under 140!!! Whoot! Whoot! Time to celebrate…Let’s go to McDonald’s! Kidding, I’m only kidding.
I have to stop eating fast food. But, it’s so easy sometimes when the kid is in the car and you’re feeling lazy and don’t want to cook. I mean, there’s a McDonald’s everywhere in my neighborhood, practically within a 5-mile radius in every direction.
SOOO….HERE’S MY FINAL WEIGH-IN AFTER A 3-DAY FAST
- 1st Day: Began at 145 ended at 144.4
- 2nd Day: Began at 144.4 ended at 141.4
- 3rd Day: Began at 141.4 ended at 139.4
Total Weight Loss: 5.6 pounds
Whether your diagnosis is an over-eater or an under-eater, or just a tired parent trying to succeed at this thing called “parenting,” we are all a bit flawed. We get fat and we go bald and our six-pack turns into a gut. Yes, gravity takes over and things sag. Hair grows where there really shouldn’t be any hair. We shrink and for some reason, all of us wind up complaining about our back problems.
We all get old.
But hopefully we will all not allow aging to be the diagnosis that immobilizes us.